“One thing I am…

Quote

“One thing I am certain of, I do not want to be betrayed, but that’s quite hard to say casually, at the beginning of a relationship. It’s not a word people use very often, which confuses me, because there are different kinds of infidelity, but betrayal is betrayal wherever you find it. By betrayal, I mean promising to be on your side, and then being on somebody else’s.”

― Jeanette Winterson, Oranges are Not the Only Fruit

The strangest thought about betrayal popped in my head today…that even loyalty can be a betrayal between lovers.  Although I have a strong and clear aversion to speaking about feelings it doesn’t mean I don’t have them.  I will be the first to admit I lack the usually sentimentality most women have and utterly lack the desire to pin a man down, I still being in love and more so, in being IN love.  I want, of course to have both these reciprocated.  I don’t know if this is where my pride kicks in, but I would kind of like someone’s soul as well.  I would be shattered if I found out that my beloved with with me for anything other than love and being in love.  Yes of course loyalty, trust, care, and blah blah blah, but if someone is staying without loving and being in love that is a betrayal…to both people.

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What NOT to say to the newly broken hearted

Oh she/he will be back.

You can do better.

Jails are so overcrowded, 4 years will be more like 4 months.

There’s other fish in the sea.

Wow, I can tell you’ve been crying, you look horrible!

It’s for the best, your husband/wife would’ve been pissed, IF they found out.

There’s a hundred more like him/her.

The next one will be even better.

You’ll see they weren’t that great after all.

Finally you’ll get some quiet without that ankle monitor going off all the time.

Look at the money you’ll be saving on a Christmas present.

If it was meant to be, it will be.

Better now than a year from now.

You can’t honestly tell me you’ll miss the neighborhood watch protesting on your lawn every night and the whole week of Halloween.

There’s more than one person for all of us, there’s like 3 trillion people in the world, do the math.

Maybe you were just lonely, you know how you can’t stand to be alone.

With all that free time, especially night, week-ends and holidays, maybe you can go back to school, join a gym, or clean this place up.

Wow, you’re a hawt mess!

Eventually you’ll get tired of crying.

 

What to say…

I’m sorry you’re sad, take one day at a time.  You can only do your best.